A VOIDING THE PERFECTIONISM TRAP
Do you feel like your briefs or legal memoranda are never quite good enough? Even if you are doing well at your job, do you worry excessively that others are doing better with a minimum of effort, no mistakes, and maximum self-confidence? Do you put off submitting important projects, and thereby delay beginning other important assignments, because you want your work to be “perfect”? If so, you may not simply be working toward success, you may be trying to be perfect.
“Perfectionism” refers to a set of self-defeating emotions, thoughts, and behaviors directed at reaching excessively high, unrealistic, and sometimes unattainable goals. Although “being perfect” is often mistakenly seen as admirable in the legal community, studies have demonstrated that perfectionistic attitudes actually may interfere with success. The drive to be perfect can rob highly competent and successful people of a sense of personal satisfaction and cause them to fail to achieve as much as people with more realistic strivings and expectations.
Lawyers as a group tend to experience a higher incidence of perfectionism. This may be due to the fact that individuals with the intellectual capacity to practice law successfully are typically rewarded early in life because they were smart. Excellent grades and LSAT scores were required to gain admission into law school. All these factors together can make young lawyers base much of their self-esteem on external standards. This in turn may leave them vulnerable and excessively sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others. Being perfect may evolve into the perceived way to avoid painful criticism and keep others pleased.
Perfectionists tend to have common negative characteristics. They have a paralyzing fear of failure, equating failure to achieve goals with a lack of personal worth. Perfectionists’ lives are often structured by an endless list of “shoulds” that serve as rigid, inflexible rules of how their lives must be led. This over-emphasis on “shoulds” may cause perfectionists to neglect their own wants, desires, and individuality. In interpersonal relationships, perfectionists tend to anticipate and fear disapproval and rejection from others. This usually unwarranted anticipation may cause perfectionists to be self-conscious and defensive, eventually leading to
the alienation of others. Additionally, perfectionists may unconsciously apply their own unrealistic high standards to others, becoming critical and demanding of them. These unpleasant characteristics may cause perfectionists to have less than satisfactory relationships.
If your life is complicated by the harmful behaviors and characteristics of a perfectionist, it’s high time you began working toward a way out of the perfectionism trap. There are several steps you can take to overcome the negative consequences of perfectionism. First, recognize that healthy goal setting and striving for success
are quite different from the self-defeating cycle of perfectionism. Healthy strivers tend to set goals based on their own wants and desires rather than primarily in response to external expectations. Their goals are realistic, internal, and potentially attainable. Healthy strivers take pleasure in the process of pursuing the task at hand rather than focusing only on the end result or consequence. When healthy strivers experience disapproval or failure, their reactions are generally limited to the specific situation rather than generalized to their entire life.
The next step in changing perfectionistic attitudes is to realize that perfectionism is undesirable and potentially destructive. Perfection is an illusion that is not attainable by human beings. Recognizing the undesirability of perfectionism allows one to look at life differently. Ninety percent success really isn’t so bad! Being one of the best instead of the best is acceptable and something to be proud of!
The final step in overcoming perfectionism is to actively challenge the beliefs, thoughts, and behavior that fuel the self-defeating cycle of perfectionism. Set realistic goals based on your own wants and needs and what you have accomplished in the past. Confront the fears that lead to your perfectionism and ask: “What is the worst thing that could happen ifl’m not absolutely perfect?” Avoid aU-or-nothing thinking in relation to your goals. Remember to focus on the process of doing an activity, not just the end result. This will allow you to evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished, but also in terms of how much you enjoyed the task. Finally, use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I set up unattainable goals for myself in this area?”
As you work your way out of the perfectionism trap, you will discover that your world will not end if you are not perfect. Not only are you likely to achieve more in your practice and life without perfectionism, but you will feel better about yourself in the process.
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A UNIQUE & EFFICIENT RECRUITMENT OPPORTUNITY
The Texas off-Campus Recruitment Program is a unique recruitment opportunity for employers seeking to hire law students for summer clerkships and/or associate positions. Through the program, participating employers are able to interview students from nine Texas law schools in one location. This year ‘s program will be held at South Texas College of Law on Friday, March 5, 1999. Schools participating include: Baylor, St. Mary’s, South Texas, Thurgood Marshall, Texas Tech, Texas Wesleyan, the University of Houston, and the University of Texas. The registration fee is $75.00 and reservations must be made by January 13, 1999. For registration materials, please contact Employer Registrar, Lisa Sparks at (512) 232-1162.
FINAL THURSDAY BASH
The October Final Thursday was a first-class event! It was held at Tony’s restaurant, where members were greeted at the door with fabulous passed hors d’ oeuvres. A very special thank you to The West Group for sponsoring the evening. Several members of West Group were there to give demonstrations of their software and gave away several door prizes including the grand prize of dinner for two at Tony’s.
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